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Maybe some of you have already heard or read about this one because it's rather old, but just to relive the fun, here it goes:
The Evolution of a Programmer by Anonymous
*High School/Jr.High
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END
*First year in College
program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.
*Senior year in College
(defun hello
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))
*New professional
#include
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;
for(i = 0; i <>
#include
class string
{
private:
int size;
char *ptr;
string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }
string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
{
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
}
~string()
{
delete [] ptr;
}
friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &); string &operator=(const char *); }; ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s) { return(stream << operator="(const" size =" strlen(chrs);" ptr =" new" str = "Hello World">);
importheader(
importheader(
importheader("pshlo.h");
importheader("shlo.hxx");
importheader("mycls.hxx");
// needed typelibs
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("thlo.tlb");
[
uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
aggregatable
]
coclass CHello
{
cotype THello;
};
};
#include "ipfix.hxx"
extern HANDLE hEvent;
class CHello : public CHelloBase
{
public:
IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);
CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
~CHello();
HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);
private:
static int cObjRef;
};
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "thlo.h"
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"
int CHello::cObjRef = 0;
CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
{
cObjRef++;
return;
}
HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
{
printf("%ws
", pwszString);
return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
}
CHello::~CHello(void)
{
// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
cObjRef--;
if( cObjRef == 0 )
PulseEvent(hEvent);
return;
}
#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"
HANDLE hEvent;
int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
ULONG ulRef;
DWORD dwRegistration;
CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();
hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);
// Initialize the OLE libraries
CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);
// wait on an event to stop
WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);
// revoke and release the class object
CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
ulRef = pCF->Release();
// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
return(0); }
extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;
CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F891,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};
UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F890,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "clsid.h"
int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
HRESULT hRslt;
IHello *pHello;
ULONG ulCnt;
IMoniker * pmk;
WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];
// get object path
wcsPath[0] = '\0';
wcsT[0] = '\0';
if( argc > 1) {
mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
wcsupr(wcsPath);
}
else {
fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
return(1);
}
// get print string
if(argc > 2)
mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
else
wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");
printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);
// Initialize the OLE libraries
hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
// print a string out
pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);
Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);
// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}
return(0);
}
*Apprentice Hacker
#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;
*Experienced Hacker
#include
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}
*Seasoned Hacker
% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out
*Guru Hacker
% echo "Hello, world."
*New Manager
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END
*Middle Manager
mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D
*Senior Manager
% zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.
*Chief Executive
% letter
letter: Command not found.
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout
LOL!
New Professional remembers:
ReplyDeleteSpaghetti code = job security
i don't get the "experienced hacker" one.
ReplyDelete>>i don't get the "experienced hacker" one.
ReplyDeleteBut yet you DO understand, "New Professional"? ;^)
Start with:
"C Programming Language (2nd Edition)" (AKA, K&R)
Brian W. Kernighan (Author)
Dennis M. Ritchie (Author)
There are only 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.
ReplyDelete-and-
There are 2 hard problems in computer science: caching, naming, and off-by-1 errors.
Both of these are far, far funnier programming jokes, IMO.
def _(**kwargs): pass
ReplyDeletetrip"
[Sorry to get you excited but I don't live up to my potential. Feel free to pass me whatever you want to.] [(Snake joke)]
"trip
I think it should be
ReplyDelete% ./a.out
unless . is in your PATH