A Message from Steve Ballmer to Ubuntu

Good day to everyone.

After two years in the making, Canonical Ltd. has announced right on cue the Long Term Support (LTS) release of Ubuntu 8.04. In behalf of Microsoft Corporation, I would like to congratulate Mark Shuttleworth and each and every Ubuntu community members who made it all possible.

Now, you might be wondering why I'm posting my message here in this mostly Linux and Open Source related blog. My friends, my answer to that is simple , " I LOVE LINUX". Yes I do. It's a secret that I've been trying to keep for so many years. And because it's a secret no more, I would like to take this opportunity to tell the whole world that I love all the Free and Open Source guys. I love Linus Torvalds, Eric S. Raymond and Jon "Maddog" Hall. I love Richard M. Stallman and his hair, and all the FOSS people that I failed to mention here, I love them all. Seriously, I want to be like them.

Let me tell you another secret. I have been using this new version of Ubuntu since yesterday. Mark sent me a very special limited edition of Ubuntu 8.04 on a Blu-ray disk, the one with a serial and activation number. And all I can tell you is this; I really adore what I'm seeing that I wanted to do the monkey dance all over again. The Wubi thing, which let you install Ubuntu inside Windows is just magnificent. I also tried the spinning cube desktop effects and was just blown away that I immediately called Mr. Gates. He told me that he's been playing with it since last year and have been wanting to implement it on the next Windows version. However, he told me that he wanted to beat Linux by putting 3 desktop cubes spinning together side-by-side. I told him that it was a bad idea. Why not put 6 cubes? Bill then told me that he'd think about it.

We all know that Windows Vista is the finest, greatest and most excellent computer operating system in the history of mankind. But after extensively using Ubuntu last night for 26 long minutes, I can say that it is a good OS. Not as superb and as breathtaking as Vista but it is good nonetheless. And because Ubuntu is a nice OS, we are offering to buy Canonical Ltd. for 999.9 Billion Dollars. Take it or leave it Mr. SpaceShuttleworth.

I won't end this message without leaving you this wonderful motto. I want you all to live and breathe with this motto and place it deep inside your heart.
"SAY NO TO PIRACY"

Thank you very much!

Sincerely,
Steve Ballmer
Microsoft, CEO

This is just a silly parody and should not be taken seriously. I hope I won't lose my regular readers with this one ;-)

-Jun-